I had moved to Corpers lodge in Asaba from Illah, where I was teaching before I became the CLO. Then one afternoon a group of corps members:three boys and three girls walked into the lodge, arguing over an issue. A girl and a guy whom I still remember his name as Charles, were in front of the group, gesticulating ferociously and debating on top of their voices.
Charles was saying that the girl could not stand him in bed,and the girl insisted that he could not last a minute on top of her; calling him a braggart who could not even satisfy a woman.
As the girl dismissed Charles he became more infuriated andbecame more determined to show her what he got.
After it was resolved that they do it and they chose one ofthe bedrooms in the lodge; of course not my own room.
The whole issue was so bizarre and so unreal for a young, naïve,timid guy like me. I couldn’t believe it until the two went into the bedroom,still arguing!
The argument stopped. But it didn’t last before it crescended into a cacophony. Charles and his, now, sex partner were on a shouting match. They quickly opened the door and the curious corpers who hoped to wait for one hour or more were disappointed that they came out too quickly. Not more than two minutes and doubted whether they did anything.
“Look at you. You are bragging for nothing. That small thing; and you cannot even last. I didn’t even feel anything before you started shaking as if you are dancing electric buggy. Local man; wetin you sabi sef. I pity your girlfriend,” the girl hauled at Charles, with her eyes blinking quickly and fiercely.
“This girl did something to me. She did something. Ask her what she did. She has juju in her hands!”
The girl booed him, “You no dey shame! See you!
The other corpers, now spectators, kept mum, stifling laughter and excitement. The two players wrangled and riled until late in the evening when each corper left the lodge, finally leaving Yvonne and me who live in the lodge.
What happened was a story that unfolded for days. It was told from different points of view and sometimes spiced for effect. To me, it was an aberration.
Charles is a stereotypical Nigerian or African who believes he can perform on a woman. Men delude themselves on what they can do to women. They do not know that women are receptacles who can take the men and largely in Africa,women rarely complain. That they don’t complain does not mean that they are satisfied. Many men don’t satisfy their sex partners.
I have heard a man that bragged he can stay on top of a woman for one hour! Truth is when you are in a sex bout; one minute can be as much as an hour. Get a stop watch and you can really know the time. So the best for you is not to aim to last a century, but to get your partner satisfied.
For a man to satisfy a woman he must acquire staying power without drugs. But it is not all about staying long; it is about satisfying your woman, making her come, just as the man does almost all the time he makes love.
Acquiring staying power is a work of art. It does not just come. First, a man should learn to be Quixotic. As he is going into the encounter he should have it in mind that his ultimate goal is to satisfy his partner. Two, he should have patience for foreplay and do it with a lot of commitment, forgetting his own desire. Three, even if it is for the first time,it will be wrong to preempt his partner and assume that she will like quick and fast thrusting, so he has to study her and know how to deal with the bout.
Every woman is different from another and their tastes on bed are as different as they are different in appearance. When you make a woman come before you do, she will appreciate you. Such altruistic attitude can count for you any day. In Africa, many women remain unsatisfied in bed. They are just objects that satisfy the sex craving of the men.
Back to Charles, about two weeks later, Charles came back tothe lodge and confided that immediately he “mounted” the girl, she twisted her buttocks like atilogwu dancer and he lost control and came.
“How she did it I cannot tell. I just lost control like Trailer that failed break.”
HAPPY VALENTINE
CHINEDU EZE
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